Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize
