Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
Randomize
