we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Randomize
