I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
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