Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
Randomize
