She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
Swine flu is the new snow day.
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
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