Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
Randomize
