i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
You drunk yet?
Nope. Give me two hours then delete my texts before you read them.
Cant make any promises.
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
i need some magic done to my vagina
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize
