I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
Randomize
