Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
Randomize
