my best friend tried to rape me with a pineapple
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
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