I'm not really sure actually. until I fell in love with a boy (which was just a few weeks ago) I thought my attraction to men was purely physical.
so you were gay...and then you realized you were EVEN MORE gay
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
Randomize
