Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize
