How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
Randomize
