I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
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