The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
Randomize
