i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
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