Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
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