the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
I think i peed on brittanys purse
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
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