I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
they need to just BURY HIM!
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
Randomize
