pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
Randomize
