Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
Randomize
