I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
Slut skills are useful in every country.
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
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