She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
Randomize
