these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
You are a genius and a whore.
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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