So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
Im too awkward for one night stands. I need to hire someone to come clear them out of my bed before I wake up.
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
it's like iHOP with fire
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
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