That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
Randomize
