just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
I'm too high and old for this...
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