haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
Houston, we have a blender
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
Randomize
