i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
Randomize
