at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
Randomize