Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
I understand Curling. That high.
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
Randomize
