Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
Randomize
