Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Randomize
