remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
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