Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
my "about me" section on Facebook should read "hell-bound alcoholic who wants to fuck a 40-year-old crackhead"
so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
Randomize
