Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
Do you know how when animals have surgery they put those cones around their heads so they can't lick their wounds so they can heal? I think someone should invent that for human emotions.
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
How's work?
Spinning.
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
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