u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
Randomize
