She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
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