Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
Randomize
