I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
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