I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
Randomize
