they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
Accidentally mixed my gin with cold brew coffee instead of cranberry juice. It’s bad. But I’ll finish it. Never leave a fallen soldier.
Randomize
