im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
it hurts more in the daytime
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
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