he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Randomize
