they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
