Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
