Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
Randomize
