were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
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