she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
Randomize
