is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
Randomize
