it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
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